Osiris’s Bones

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I dream
of friends
not long departed
young in age
and wonder
at the wrong
of it

I see
you there
I lead you on
try to tell you
about
the wedding ring
I forgot
and
wonder why
it never
happened for us

I talk
to a ghost
he tells me
secrets
I never wanted
to know
but still
can’t believe

this thing
called life
is moving
too fast
for me
I want
to slow
it down
but can’t

the choices
all come
on me
and its too many
not enough
I don’t want
to be a pinball
bounced around
always played
never playing

I’d hold
my breath
duck
under warm blankets
pretend I’m still
in the womb
but it’s limited
I see
at best
they’ll give
me fifty
maybe sixty
maybe … maybe
give me eighty
and still
I’d feel robbed

So no time
for sulking
just moving
onwards
let my flesh
dissolve
it will not matter
my bones
will keep on
moving.

Authorities
agree in
divergent views
contradictions

there are
many
fetishes
fetiço
factitius

spirits are
embodied
attached to
and
communicating
conveying influence
from
material objects

vessels
vehicles
instruments
of souls
get
trapped
forever
within

personal consciousness
power
all around you

worshiped
and
talked with
prayed to
sacrificed to
petted
ill-treated
concrete
soul.

worship the souls
of people
especially the dead

worship incorporeal spirits
essence of the natural world

hawks and
alligators

trees and
ants

humming birds
aerial dancing

a beetle rolling
a small ball
of dung

find an old twisting tree
with a trunk
thicker than a barrel
cuddle up
beside it
lay an ear
on it
listen
wisdom of old
a song

nefarious souls
disguise themselves
as dead friends
to reek havoc
on your life

spirits from heaven
direct
stars
lightening
earthquakes
gentle rain
rainbows
breezes

go away
deep into the primeval
stop and listen
at the quietest hour
wills by the thousands
singing.

I can do nothing.

It is a becoming.

I am a sea creature
of the great beyond
and I swim in the depths
of the oceans
only rarely visiting the beaches
where I search for
my true love
now and then
I walk the land
searching for her
so that I might take her
back with me
to the depths of the sea.

Here and there
I search
but she is never there
then one day
I find her
in a building
by the sea
a towering building
with many passages
rooms I can’t count
and watchers everywhere
she will come with me
but only unseen.

They always watch her
they never lay down their eyes
their life is watching her
my true love
they watch what she eats
how long she sleeps
what she watches on TV
she can’t breath
or use the toilet
without them flocking
around her
studying her every action
I can’t free her.

I watch helpless
day after day
I slowly dry up
far from my home
in the sea
waiting for a chance
to take my true love
to her true home.

Then one day
when I least expect it
there is a problem
an escapee
from another planet
the whole place in an uproar
people running
back and forth
here and there
mass chaos
and no one watches
my true love.

I take her by the hand
and I lead her down
the long passages
and past the many doors
and down the many stairs
and out the back door
to the beach
to the sea
and hand and hand
I lead her to
her destined home
deep deep
into the sea …

Pictures
images
so fascinating
to me
movement
frozen
trembling
i can’t
turn my eyes
away
catatonia
catalepsy
catastrophe
the way ahead
blocked
by lack of concentration
visual fixation
prolongation
of reaction
staring into
space
state of
distraction
reduction of
attention
that’s me.

experimental researches
clinical observations
complexity and magnitude
finality of treatment
absolute certainty
fruitful questions
dementia praecox

contrivances of
a roving fancy
matured thoughts
empirical material
authoritative circles
naturally entertained
a long and patient study
of everyday life

dreams and hysteria
judgment pronounced
notorious men
of science
unqualified submission
independent judgment
complex mechanisms
infantile sexual trauma

predominantly sexual
several possible methods
the expected practice
merest trifles
psychological principles
too little attention.

[Following capriciously from Carl Jung’s words in The Psychogenesis of Mental Disease.]

many scribes
truly religious
brimming with
aspirations
yearnings
conscious of sin
longing to be free
let magic
overshadow
the highest
conception
wheat choked
by the tares
God left
to the wayside
instead
ceremonial
personal
cleanliness
I am pure
I am pure
I am pure
says the scribe
I wash
my front parts
my back parts
with the waters
of libations
even my insides
are now cleansed
with the liquor
of Maat
eternal bliss
mine for
the grabbing.

[Inspired from a passage in From Fetish to God in Ancient Egypt by E.A. Wallis Budge]

so great a part
in life
difficult to define
not anything
but magical
living men
using magic
black and profane
in connexion
with the dead
mollify modify and annul
the power of the gods
the destinies of man
ruled by magic.

bull and ram
strength
cow and goose
fertility
jackal
cunning
lion, leopard, panther, and crocodile
savage strength
cobra and scorpion
fatal to mankind
scarab beetle
new life
baboon
wisdom
birds
beauty.